Posts Tagged ‘blog’

Blog Stats = Amusement

Posted: June 25, 2008 by Zee in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

So for shits-n-giggles (and really, if you don’t use that term regularly? Start doing so now) I looked up Arterial Spray’s blog stats– specifically the keyword searches. Apparently Google (or whatever) has decided that if you want to find our humble blog, these are the best words to type into your box:

amy smart naked pics (I’m shocked! What makes you perverts think that we would show Amy Smart with her breasts exposed, nipple out for all to see, on our virtuous blog?! May I remind the readership that one authoress is Catholic, while the other is undoubtedly some Chinese philosophical religion that rejects such things as Amy Smart’s breasts?!)

does forbidden kingdom have subtitles? (Spoken like a true American. I salute thee, brothers!)

speed racer, brotherhood (why am I picturing David Carradine here?)

movie (Dude. Really? And more than one person used this as their keyword. Dude. Really?)

film crank 2 (OK, boy, can I relate here!)

crank 2 (77 searches?! Ok, wait, there are people on the Intaweb that are more excited about Crank 2 than I? IMPOSSIBLE. I need to meet all of you. NOW.)

forbidden kingdom white guy (Vicki, you just forgot the name of our site, didn’t you?)

sexxxy (ok, wait…of ALL the sites Google could have directed you to for this search, it sent you to an action movie blog in which two chicks titter over Edward Norton side-butt?!?…wow. Although Vicki and I would both agree Edward Norton side-butt is DAMN ‘sexxxy’. In other news…please, please, PLEASE learn how to spell correctly.)

crank amy smart (I’m sensing a trend)

pics of zombies feeding on girls (you have us confused with a fetish site, I’m afraid. But points on properly using ‘feeding’ as a verb!)

coreyhaim (dude, NO. Yes, I know he’s in Crank 2. With a mullet. And what appears to be a Bacardi Rum tattoo. Still…NO.)

And the number 1 (with 92 queries!) keyword search?

jason statham

Whoever you 92 people are, I think I love you.

Oh, if for whatever reason I end up posting here more than Vicki? She has an excuse…she’s in Taiwan (land of her heritage! Home of…well, Vicki’s relatives as far as I know. And smog. That’s about it, until Vicki corrects me rightly for totally bashing her homeland) for an internship. Y’know, actually doing stuff after she graduated. Pah! But Vicki? This means you have to review at least ONE Taiwanese/Chinese action film that you KNOW will not be released state-side. You’re there for two months! Are you telling me you won’t see at least ONE?! PAH, I say!

Or you have to get me a yurt during your Mongolian travels.

The deal’s on the table.