Posts Tagged ‘battle’

(Bear with me for a moment here -v)

I have a declaration to make. And it isn’t an easy one. Because I love the book “World War Z”, I love zombie movies, and I love disaster movies; I love movies that are disasters, and I even love Brad Pitt,  and most importantly in this case – I love awfulness burried under a cascade of money. And there is no way, whatsoever, that I could not have an absolutely glorious time RENDING this movie’s metaphorical BONES INTO SLURRY. It would be so much fun. Did you see that trailer? Did you see that chopper go down like a wildebeest at a watering hole? How about that tidal wave of super ant people zombies?

 wat

 Left: Experienced pack hunters aim for the sensitive nose and vulnerable underbelly
Right: An admirable but incorrect attempt at breaking the human tower record. 
 

And so, I’m not going to see it. This movie is a travesty of film making. Not only is it just a bad movie, which could, and has, and is very commonly forgiven. It has taken a fantastic book and made it into a terrible movie. For the last two years, I have been waiting, desperately hoping the rumors were a lie, willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. But having seen the final trailer in theatre this weekend, I have to make a stand. And I love bad movies — but there are movies that were never going to be good, movies that would have been good if not for X or Y, or movies that are so bad they’re good. The movie “World War Z” took what was a thoughtful geopolitical social commentary that explores the nature of humanity in a clever and interesting format, and turns it into a one man superdad quest to save the world. What do they think he’s going to do? Deactivate the hive mind so all the zombies collapse?

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REVIEW: “Star Trek: Into Darkness”

Posted: May 20, 2013 by V in Review
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(So I watched Star Trek: Into Darkness this weekend and enjoyed  it. I had a great time watching it, this action movie set in space. I have a special Brain Treaty which states that brain is to disengage when I watch action movies. And thus, I enjoyed the shit out of alt reality Star Trek.  –v SPOILERS AHEAD)

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REVIEW: “Star Trek”

Posted: June 17, 2009 by V in Review
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I admit, Star Trek was one of the few bandwagons that I did not board. Sure, I watched Star Trek, never the original but several of the later series, never regularly. Thanks to “Star Trek” of the nondescript name, I am now willing to go back and watch them all today. No spoilers this time,  (that means its good enough for me to go out of my way to avoid ruining it)! -v

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REVIEW: “Red Cliff”

Posted: September 23, 2008 by V in Review
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I’ve taken extended leave, after my internship I’m gallivanting about until December, nonetheless I know my duty, and so, here’s my token contribution to the summer movie party — partially fulfilling Susanna’s demands, I present “Red Cliff”, the most expensive Asian film ever made. That’s what they said, and I’m not gonna voice contradiction after what I saw. -v July 08
I wrote this review about two months ago, just to show you all how very on-top of things I am. You can all thank Susanna for this one, but just so you all know, I’m only doing this because I’m out of money, and waiting for a bus to take me to the airport. -v

Enraged by Susanna’s laughable challenge and derision towards the number one country of Taiwan China -insert offended Asian country here-, I immediately rushed out to watch this amazing piece of Asian cinematography in action. The fact that I got Monday off because of a typhoon is irrelevant. Also, my belated realization that “Red Cliff” will be released State-side, means nothing, as it is clipped of all the delicacy of Chinese nuance and suffers the indignity in the abbreviation of all the character that embodies Chinese epics. In Asia, this film is 2 1/2 hours, twice. The second part comes out in December. When its released in the US, it’ll be 2 1/2 hours, total. RUINED I TELL YOU! This horrendous theatrical savaging of Chinese history also means I don’t owe anyone a yurt. Least of all that mooch, Susanna.

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