Archive for the ‘Irrelevant’ Category

Cicada Thug Life

Posted: June 12, 2013 by V in Irrelevant, Uncategorized

Sing, fly, mate, die!

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(Bear with me for a moment here -v)

I have a declaration to make. And it isn’t an easy one. Because I love the book “World War Z”, I love zombie movies, and I love disaster movies; I love movies that are disasters, and I even love Brad Pitt,  and most importantly in this case – I love awfulness burried under a cascade of money. And there is no way, whatsoever, that I could not have an absolutely glorious time RENDING this movie’s metaphorical BONES INTO SLURRY. It would be so much fun. Did you see that trailer? Did you see that chopper go down like a wildebeest at a watering hole? How about that tidal wave of super ant people zombies?

 wat

 Left: Experienced pack hunters aim for the sensitive nose and vulnerable underbelly
Right: An admirable but incorrect attempt at breaking the human tower record. 
 

And so, I’m not going to see it. This movie is a travesty of film making. Not only is it just a bad movie, which could, and has, and is very commonly forgiven. It has taken a fantastic book and made it into a terrible movie. For the last two years, I have been waiting, desperately hoping the rumors were a lie, willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. But having seen the final trailer in theatre this weekend, I have to make a stand. And I love bad movies — but there are movies that were never going to be good, movies that would have been good if not for X or Y, or movies that are so bad they’re good. The movie “World War Z” took what was a thoughtful geopolitical social commentary that explores the nature of humanity in a clever and interesting format, and turns it into a one man superdad quest to save the world. What do they think he’s going to do? Deactivate the hive mind so all the zombies collapse?

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Aboard the Failship Forgetfulness

Posted: February 11, 2009 by V in Irrelevant
Tags: , ,

Sorry for the long hiatus! This time I actually have no excuse and only one reason: his name is House, M.D. For anyone who dares question the greatness of House there will be punishing blows and ear-rending cries. Let it be known. Do not question the greatness of House.  Moving on.

Two things got me off my ass and moving. One was a text from Susanna (who has also mysteriously disappeared from teh webz), the other, a blog review from Action Flick Chick. Perhaps some of my lethargy was due to the fact that our readers tend to ninja in and out leaving little to no trace of their visit. Please! Leave a comment! It makes us feel read and appreciated. Being read and appreciated makes us happy, and being happy makes us watch more movies and belittle the crap out of them! Its a strange cycle, I know.

During one of our physical visits (that sounds a little like a conjugal visit, doesn’t it?), Susanna mentioned seeing the movie “I Am Legend”. I returned, “I read a book called ‘I Am Legend'”! And thus began horrific conversation in which we discovered one was based on the other. To this day I have not seen the movie, and I believe that Susanna has likewise not read the book. Now, I would like to ask anyone who still keeps up with this blog to provide some input.

Would anyone be interested in the gist of our conversation? I’m sure that we could put something together to public ally display our bewildered confusion develop into horrified discovery? OR

Would anyone be interested in forcing me to watch this movie so that my mind will force my eyes to bleed in denial of the mutilation this story? OR

Would everyone yell at us to get on with reviewing action movies like the blog says we do?