REVIEW: “Star Trek”

I admit, Star Trek was one of the few bandwagons that I did not board. Sure, I watched Star Trek, never the original but several of the later series, never regularly. Thanks to “Star Trek” of the nondescript name, I am now willing to go back and watch them all today. No spoilers this time,  (that means its good enough for me to go out of my way to avoid ruining it)! -v

REVIEW: “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”

(X-Men Origins, was an acclaimed comic  series before executives decided that Wolverine as played by Hugh Jackman was a cash cow  just waiting to be slaughtered for golden eggs! As you can probably guess, the comic was about origins, Wolverine’s origins. *whisper* He’s in the X-men! Having received conflicting recommendations about this movie, I decided to view it for myself. -v)

Aboard the Failship Forgetfulness

Sorry for the long hiatus! This time I actually have no excuse and only one mitigator: his name is House, M.D. For anyone who dares question the greatness of House there will be punishing blows and ear-rending cries. Let it be known. Do not question the greatness of House.  Moving on.

Two things got me off my ass and moving. One was a text from Susanna (who has also mysteriously disappeared from teh webz), the other, a blog review from Action Flick Chick. Perhaps some of my lethargy was due to the fact that our readers tend to ninja in and out leaving little to no trace of their visit. Please! Leave a comment! It makes us feel read and appreciated. Being read and appreciated makes us happy, and being happy makes us watch more movies and belittle the crap out of them! Its a strange cycle, I know.

During one of our physical visits (that sounds a little like a conjugal visit, doesn’t it?), Susanna mentioned seeing the movie “I Am Legend”. I returned, “I read a book called ‘I Am Legend’”! And thus began horrific conversation in which we discovered one was based on the other. To this day I have not seen the movie, and I believe that Susanna has likewise not read the book. Now, I would like to ask anyone who still keeps up with this blog to provide some input.

Would anyone be interested in the gist of our conversation? I’m sure that we could put something together to public ally display our bewildered confusion develop into horrified discovery? OR

Would anyone be interested in forcing me to watch this movie so that my mind will force my eyes to bleed in denial of the mutilation this story? OR

Would everyone yell at us to get on with reviewing action movies like the blog says we do?

Prince of Persia: pre-pre-preview

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been missing for a while, but I have a good reason! I’ve been dodging responsibility, er I mean, traveling, till mmm… about 3 days ago, when I returned home to find a great pile of things that need a good fixin’ that were waiting for me. Therefore, I must be excused for being lax in my duties.

So in honor of my journey, I am here today to discuss “Prince of Persia: Sands of Time”. Okay, it has less to do with my journey than the fact that PoP: SoT was one of the BEST GAMES EVAR (honestly, it was spectacular in balancing all the facets of gameplay, plotline, fighting and puzzles, and character development), and I have a mad crush on the Prince.

Also, I didn’t get to go to Iran.

/Bitterness

So here we go:

REVIEW: “Red Cliff”

I’ve taken extended leave, after my internship I’m gallivanting about until December, nonetheless I know my duty, and so, here’s my token contribution to the summer movie party — partially fulfilling Susanna’s demands, I present “Red Cliff”, the most expensive Asian film ever made. That’s what they said, and I’m not gonna voice contradiction after what I saw. -v July 08
I wrote this review about two months ago, just to show you all how very on-top of things I am. You can all thank Susanna for this one, but just so you all know, I’m only doing this because I’m out of money, and waiting for a bus to take me to the airport. -v

Enraged by Susanna’s laughable challenge and derision towards the number one country of Taiwan China -insert offended Asian country here-, I immediately rushed out to watch this amazing piece of Asian cinematography in action. The fact that I got Monday off because of a typhoon is irrelevant. Also, my belated realization that “Red Cliff” will be released State-side, means nothing, as it is clipped of all the delicacy of Chinese nuance and suffers the indignity in the abbreviation of all the character that embodies Chinese epics. In Asia, this film is 2 1/2 hours, twice. The second part comes out in December. When its released in the US, it’ll be 2 1/2 hours. RUINED I TELL YOU! This horrendous theatrical savaging of Chinese history also means I don’t owe anyone a yurt. Least of all that mooch, Susanna.

REVIEW: “The Incredible Hulk” V.2

Susanna and I had been discussing the creation of a co-review, since we discuss many movies in instant message format anyways. We gave it a shot but it quickly degenerated into something that neither of us could believe readers would suffer. Therefore, here is my rebuttal to Susanna’s “REVIEW: “The Incredible Hulk” -v)

REVIEW: “Speed Racer”

(“Speed Racer”, simultaneously a great icon of 60s animation, while a not-so-great icon of quality in animation history. For a movie based on a cartoon made in the sixties about a boy who races cars to change the world and save his family, I’d say this film adaptation is damn good. Given the original material, “Speed Racer” far exceeded expectations. I saw it twice. -v)

REVIEW: “Iron Man”

(Arterial Spray’s first original review! This is exciting! Here we go! Word at the comic store on Weds was that since the filming dates of “Iron Man”and “The Incredible Hulk” were so close, they both have cameo appearances in each other’s self titled films. So If you go to see the movie, keep an eye out for Edward Norton, no one I know has spotted him yet, but we’re still trying. -v)